The Fairly Taxed Plan (Short Story)
Guest Post by Bill Pojo
Arrgh U. Ment and Hip Hop Crissy lay in bed boob tubing and surfing. “The necessary evil” Arrgh stated as Hip Pop grazed the plasma waves. “All the blather about the debt crisis without accomplishing anything in the end.”
“That’s not 100% true” Hip Pop said. “It lines up to give a bunch of people something in their end.’
Arrgh laughed. “Yeah, well, The Big O has no one to blame but himself. He ran on a platform of Transparency and Change. Then he says he can’t propose a plan because the plan would be twisted like so many papers in the wind.”
“Not a lot of transparency or change there” Hip Pop agreed. “The only obvious thing about this Administration is that every time they sell one thing the exact opposite is true. This just points out that the Administration has no transparent plan for America other than re-election. It’s the CREEP of 1970 reborn again!” She noticed Arrgh typing away. “Whatcha doin’?”
“Oh” Arrgh said “I’m Comment chatting with one of the Fair Tax Act trolls. It is quite humorous to do.”
“Did you read the legislation?” Hip Pop asked.
Arrgh laughed. ‘Yeah, I gotta give them credit there. At least with these folks one can read their manifesto. Their plan may not work but it is at least 1 billion % more quantifiable than Mr. Transparency’s secret plan.”
“So what is this Not Secret plan?” Hip Pop asked.
“It’s a plan where the IRS is scrapped and the tax code is scrapped for a new tax code based upon a national sales tax” Arrgh answered. “There’s a national discount for annual standard living expenses but the belief is that this will cure America’s tax inequities and spending quandary.”
“So what don’t you like?” Hip Pop asked.
“I asked them what their implementation plan is” Arrgh answered.
“And?” Hip Pop queried.
“They said none. Cold Turkey.” Arrgh told her. “So if the bill is passed in July or October of year A then the actions become law and implemented January 1 of year B.”
Hip Pop wrinkled her nose. “That’s a hell of a quote unquote implementation plan! Am I to understand that the Fair Tax people…some of whom undoubtedly belong to the cadre of people who dislike 1\6 on the national economy being redone over a period of years via the Health Care Bill monstrosities that no one ever read…want to redo 100% of the tax structure of the Federal Government of the United States with the flick of a switch?”
“Yep” Arrgh said. “To collect a national sales tax somehow every cash register system in the USA will be reprogrammed within whatever time frame is allocated to go cold turkey. Also, all accounting systems required will automatically be in place somehow. So will all government funding systems and the way the Fed looks at economic data. It will be magic!”
“Ah yes” Hip Pop told him. “I remember this. These are the same people who would disband the IRS immediately. It makes one wonder what will happen to all tax lawsuits that exist or past tax cheats that may be found out about. If there is no IRS left over…not even a shell of an organization…how are the past, present and future cases of tax fraud to be prosecuted? If someone cheats on their duties of tax collection how does a legal case proceed?”
“Why don’t we start a company and collect taxes and not remit the money?” Arrgh argued. “With no prosecution vehicle worked out for fraud we could get away with it until something is addressed.”
“What happens if it turns out the sales tax doesn’t bring in enough revenue to fund the Federal government?” Hip Pop asked. “I mean, theoretically the total sales tax revenue will cover everything but what if it doesn’t?”
‘Oh, like the Hunt brothers in the 1970’s when they thought sure they could corner the silver market?” Arrgh answered. “The unknown unknown of more silver coming into the market than the Hunt family realized could possibly happen flooded the market with silver and they were left losing a fortune. Of course an unknown unknown could really screw up a 100% certain unproven economic plan ushered in cold turkey!”
“So then they would either have to raise the sales tax or spend less” Hip Pop Crissy thought out. “Hmm, gee, I wonder which way Washington DC will go!” Her attention was caught by some skin on the TV. “Oh great! Here goes Senator Smarmy taking to the press again.”
Senator Smarmy stepped to the microphone. “Smilfme here” she said. “And I am here to tell you that forty million citizens on food stamps is not enough! My state is suffering through the worst economic crisis ever! These people need help, and the evil wealthy are just not doing their fair share to help the poor. That’s why I am all for balancing revenues to save lives. Every day my office is filled with images and stories of innocent babies dying because they have no food…”
Arrgh zapped off the TV. “I can only take so much of this” he told Crissy. “No matter which side I hear they all sound like Darwin Award candidates to me!”
“So what do you propose Congress do?” Hip Pop asked Arrgh. “Implement a plan with Common Sense behind it?”
Arrgh smiled. “We’ll just have to wait and see!”
Bill Poje is the author of the award winning fiction novel Painless. Poje is currently completing 3 more works of fiction for simultaneous publication: Novels Blindless (sequel), NLM, and the short story collection Senator Smarmy. More information is at www.poje.biz.